6 Self Defence Tips All Women Need to Know
Here are the six self defence tips that all women need to know to stay safe. I wish I had known this 20 or 30 years ago as it could have saved me from a lot of unfortunate situations.
Please share with these self defence tips with other women in your lives to help keep more people safe.
And, take action today - what can you do differently to keep yourself safer?
Best Self Defence Tips for Women
The biggest threat comes from people known to you
You may be surprised to hear that the biggest threat of violence towards women comes from people known to you.
Not from strangers, but from people you know and in most cases, people you love or have loved.
Statistics show that roughly:
90% of violence is from our social circles
30% of violence is by a family member
10% of attacks come from strangers
This could be a partner, ex-partner, family member, work colleague, neighbour or someone at a club, the gym or community group.
A staggering 97% of women murdered are killed in their own home by an intimate partner or ex.
At least 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.
When you hear these shocking statistics and relate them to self defence, you can see that the ‘old-school approach’ of learning martial arts and focusing on kicking and punching isn’t going to help in these situations.
Real self defence is not just about the ‘physical’!
Nine times out of ten, real self defence is about:
Understanding how violence happens
Knowing where your biggest threats lie
Being mentally prepared that your loved one could become controlling and abusive
Listening to your gut
Acting on behavioural red flags
Not making excuses for people
Getting help at the first signs of mental or physical abuse.
2. MARTIAL ARTS AREN’T EFFECTIVE SELF DEFENCE
When most people think about self defence, they think about martial arts, boxing, Krav Maga, Jiu Jitsu etc. Well, the second thing women need to know about self defence is that martial arts aren’t effective in real-life violent situations.
Controversial, I know.
Don’t get us wrong, we’re not saying don’t learn martial arts. They are great for fitness, strength, discipline and for physical interaction.
However, martial arts are not our recommended physical response in a violent scenario.
Even though our instructor and street safety expert, Dene Josham, trained in Kickboxing and fought at a professional level (see pics belowwhen younger - sorry Dene!), martial arts are not his ‘go-to’ to defend himself.
Why?
Violence is messy, frenzied, nasty and up-close - there are no rules. There is no time to get into the ‘right’ position to deploy your kick or punch or use a wrist-lock, thumb-lock or any other manoeuvre.
And, focusing on learning martial arts without the understanding of how and why violence happens - emotionally and physically - is ineffective. You need to understand when and how violence can be de-escalated and when and how to respond physically.
Also, martial arts take years of dedication and practice to become proficient at. For the average woman who wants to learn to defend herself in case of a street attack, this is not a realistic or viable option.
That’s why the self defence we teach is simple, highly effective and can be learnt by anyone of any ability in a one-off workshop or short online course.
3. Awareness and avoidance is 95% of self defence
We believe that 95% of self defence is awareness and avoidance. What we mean by this is that self defence is about not getting into a violent situation in the first place.
Yes, there will always be occasions that can’t be avoided but these are few and far between.
For the most part, being aware of your environment and the people in it can help you avoid becoming a victim of violence.
How?
First of all, be aware that violence happens and understand how it happens.
Do you know the difference between social and anti-social violence? Do you know how and when to use de-escalation techniques? If not, invest some time in learning - we have a range of affordable online courses that teach this, such as ‘Self Defence for Women’.
Take your headphones off, put your phone away and tune in to what is happening around you
Secondly, switch on and plug into the world around you:
Take your headphones out
Put your phone away
Look what is going on
Concentrate and tune in
Observe and analyse people
Take early evasive action if you notice something ‘off’.
Many people avoid this subject altogether because it is horrible to think about. I get that but that approach won’t keep you safe.
4. Develop a fierce mindset
You are worth protecting.
No one has the right to hurt you, emotionally or physically.
You are strong, powerful and fierce.
So many women that we train in self defence start off with a low self-esteem mindset.
We’ve been told things like:
“It doesn’t matter what happens to me, as long as my children are ok.”
“There’s no point fighting back because I’m too small.”
“I’ve got no chance against a man because I’m not strong enough.”
Wrong, wrong and wrong.
It absolutely matters what happens to you - because if you’re suffering emotionally or physically or, worst case scenario, you don’t come home at all, who is going to look after your children, your dog, your mum, your sister?
And, let’s be crystal clear here - it does not matter what size you are or how strong you are or how big and tough the attacker is - you can defend yourself and win.
So how can I defend myself against a man who is bigger and stronger than me?
Start out by getting your mindset right.
You must believe that you are worth protecting and get so damn angry with anyone who thinks they can attack you, that you know at a deep level that you will do whatever it takes to survive.
How dare they think that they can hurt you? They have no right and you will show them that they have picked the wrong woman to assault.
What’s more, your physical response will be so fierce that you’ll make them think twice before attacking another woman again.
What is your reason to fight?
Who do you want to go home to? Who or what needs you? How would people in your life feel if they lost you?
Set this reason firmly in your mind and use it to switch into the fierce warrior, lioness, powerful woman that is within you.
Remember the capability of the human body
Women do amazing things every day and under extreme pressure women have done awesome things.
Remember the two women (Donna McNamee and Abigail Sicolo) who lifted a 1-ton car off a boy trapped underneath
Remember the mum (Lydia Angyiou) who fought off a 700-pound polar bear to protect her children
Remember the young woman (Terra Newell) who was ambushed from behind and stabbed in the back by a man (who was over a foot taller than her and weighed 30 pounds heavier) who she fought off and killed
Remember the female warriors who have fought alongside men throughout history - it is only in more modern times that women have been excluded from these things and labelled ‘too weak’ or ‘too delicate’ to fight.
Determination and mindset are more important than strength - and when you add knowledge and ability into it - by learning the body’s weak spots and how to use them effectively (see ‘Self Defence for Women’), you are so powerful.
5. Trust your intuition
This is one of the most important things we teach in self defence - trust your gut instinct.
Your instinct or intuition is your body’s internal warning system.
Intuition developed over hundreds of thousands of years of evolution and it is there to keep us safe - if we listen to it and act on it.
So, if you:
Get an uneasy feeling that your date is ‘too good to be true’, you’re probably right - be safe, don’t commit, don’t share personal information, walk away if you need to
Sense that guy is following you, he probably is - cross the road, run away
Don’t trust the person asking you a question in the street - don’t answer just say ‘sorry’ and get away
Get a feeling in a crowd that something bad is going to happen - move to the edge of the crowd and walk away
Feel uncomfortable when your partner wants too much detail about where you are going and wants you to do what they want, don’t dismiss it - tell them that’s not acceptable and talk to a friend for support.
Try to tune in to your intuition
It could be an uneasy feeling in your gut, butterflies in your tummy, goosebumps, tightness in the chest or a ‘knowing’ feeling that something bad is going to happen.
Listen to it and act on it.
Never tell yourself you are being silly.
It’s always better to get away and be wrong than to stay and become the victim of violence.
6. Know behavioural warning signs
Notice, understand and act on behavioural changes in your loved ones and people you know. Out-of-character behaviour should be seen as a red flag and acted upon.
This is linked to using your intuition and to knowing that the biggest threat of violence comes from people known to you.
So, notice and take action if:
Your partner starts paying more attention to you and questioning you a lot
A creepy work colleague starts taking their lunch at the same time as you and sitting near you
Your partner asks you not to go and see your mum because they need you more
That guy from the gym starts walking home the same way you do
Your partner tells you they don’t like your friend and they don’t want you to go out with them
Your boss starts complimenting you in an uncomfortable way
A loved one becomes very distant and grumpy with you
Your partner starts drinking on weeknights and they haven’t before.
None of these things are easy to address but they must be addressed. If you don’t, the behaviour is likely to escalate.
If you don’t know how to deal with the behaviour, talk to a friend, call a helpline or seek professional support.
Do you want to learn self defence and how to stay safe?
We hope these 6 self defence tips for women have opened your eyes a little to what real self defence is.
If you want to learn more then check out our online course ‘Self Defence for Women’ - this is the essential guide to women’s safety, self defence and street safety.
You will learn:
The simple and effective physical self defence moves to protect yourself
How to set boundaries in relationships
The different types of violence, attackers and attacks and how to avoid them
How to make yourself an ‘undesirable’ target for attackers
How to de-escalate violence.
And much more!
Costing just £36.99, Self Defence for Women is a pre-recorded series of videos. Simply sit back, watch and learn - and feel more confident and empowered.
Plus, as a Streetwise Defence blog reader you can save 10% with the code BLOG10.
Take your power back and learn today.