Just Let it Go
This is one for men as well as women - if not more so. I hope that taking a minute to think about how you would react in this situation, and changing your mindset, might help you avoid a traumatic experience.
I was recently told a story that was overheard in the hairdressers (isn’t that where all the best stories come from). It was an unfortunate incident where a man arrived home in his car and on getting out discovered three guys waiting for him on his driveway.
They wanted the keys to his car to steal it. This man obviously didn’t want to give up his car and, being a big bloke himself, thought he would defend his property. The outcome of this story, you can probably imagine, wasn’t good.
The man was severely beaten and ended up hospitalized with damage to his eye socket and several teeth missing - and the car was taken.
What sticks with me about this story is the trauma that man and his family have experienced and the ongoing difficulties he may now face as a result of his injuries.
Now, in no way am I saying what happened was the man’s fault - clearly he is the victim in this and the criminals are to blame. However, I do wonder if things might have turned out differently had the man given the keys without a fight.
Let It go
When I teach self defence, I am always very clear that things can be replaced but you can’t be. No material goods are worth losing your life over or receiving life-changing injuries and life-long trauma.
Whether it is a wallet, a purse, a designer bag, expensive watch, treasured jewellery or a car - just let it go.
Even if you think you can ‘take on’ the other person, don’t be fooled. Criminals don’t play by the rules and many would think nothing of pulling a knife and stabbing you to get what they want.
On most occasions, giving the attacker the item they want will resolve the threat and they will leave.
We suggest you hand over the item in a way that lets you get away - i.e. throw the car keys or wallet in their direction but not right to them and at the same time you run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. This momentary distraction should give you chance to escape and find help while they look on the floor to get the keys, purse etc.
WHAT TO DO IN A CARJACKING SITUATION
Being aware of your environment is key, if you approach your drive and see people on it or nearby, then do not park up or get out of the car. Drive round again and if they are still there call for help.
Always make sure your car doors are locked and beware suspicious people bumping you or tailgating you in order to cause a scene where you need to get out of the car. You don’t need to get out, even in an accident, if you feel threatened. Call the police and wait for them to arrive.
Listen to your gut instinct, if you are driving and see:
Gangs stood in the road or at a junction
Blockages in the road such as a wheelie bin
A broken down car with someone suspicious flagging you down
Someone flashing you and telling you to pull over
A car following you home.
Don’t stop! If your sixth sense is telling you something is wrong, then it probably is. Call the emergency services either to get help for you or them. Keep your doors locked, windows up and the vehicle moving at all times with plenty of room around you to turn and get away.
If it is obvious you are in a carjacking situation and you have children in the car, make sure you shout this at the carjackers as this may put them off as it makes it more complicated for them.
Don’t let pride mess with you
It is completely natural to want to defend your property, especially as a man. Lots of men have this in-built ‘protector’ thing, so if another man tries to rob you, it is like a direct challenge to your manhood.
Let me tell you though - you are no less of a man if you give them that wallet or watch or car. Don’t let adrenaline and pride mess with you!
Even with all my training, experience and knowledge, I wouldn’t take on a group of men to protect my car. To protect my loved ones - yes 100% - but not material possessions.
Prepare mentally
As with most self defence, preparation, awareness and avoidance are key. Just pausing now for five minutes and thinking about how you would react in a mugging, carjacking or robbery situation will mean you are more prepared.
If you have never given a second’s thought to such a situation, then if it happens you will be shocked and react based on adrenaline - fight, flight, freeze or appease.
Like we said earlier, if the person confronting you has not yet attacked you, then you don’t necessarily want to initiate a fight or have to deal with the situation physically. Having a plan in your mind and thinking about it from time to time will help your body react how you want it to under duress.
Detach yourself mentally from these material possessions and have a very clear plan that if someone tries to rob you, then it is just not worth starting a fight.
If things go wrong
You’ll notice earlier that I said ‘most’ times the thief will leave when they have what they want. Most of them don’t want to get caught and their aim is to get away as quickly and easily as possible.
However, there is a chance that they may still attack you after you have given them the item. This is why we suggest throwing the item near, but not too near to them, and running away as fast as you can.
The person robbing you may be on drugs, desperate, mentally unstable or may just enjoy violence. You need to consider that after you have given them the item, they may then ask you for something else, e.g. to get cash out of the machine, to get in the car with you and you drive them somewhere or to let them into your house.
This is then a totally different situation. We never advise you to get in a car with someone, go anywhere with them or let them into your home. If they ask for this, or chase you or you find yourself cornered then that is when the physical aspect of what we teach comes into force.
You need to act swiftly and aggressively to defend yourself physically using your hands or any improvised weapons such as keys or anything you are holding or that is nearby. Don’t forget that your voice is also a weapon and screaming or roaring at full power whilst you are doing this can shock and disorientate them, as well as giving you more power.
Basically, you need to unleash the wild inside and bring out your survival aggression to defend yourself (not to defend the material item, to defend yourself).
If you can do this quickly and ferociously it should surprise and physically hurt them enough to give you the chance to escape.
Need support?
We hope you will never experience a robbery or carjacking, but taking the time to think about how you would handle it is a worthwhile preparation.
During our training we have met lots of people who have sadly experienced the trauma of a robbery, and I think everyone would say the same ‘it’s not worth it.’
If you would like to learn more about our self defence education and training, just complete our enquiry form and Dene will get back to you.
You can also take a look at our online courses for instant access to videos on topics such as verbal de-escalation, situation awareness, how to be an undesirable target and how to defend yourself physically.